She Don't Lie, She Don't Lie, She Don't Lie

So, I've been mulling over whether to actually write this post or not, but it's one of the biggest "Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore" things that still stands out to me.  I suspect is has something to do with my proclivity for dive-y rock bars, but "Do you party?" seems to be as frequent a pick up line as "Can I buy you a drink?"



By itself, that's a little unusual for little Bostonian Puritanical me, but more interesting are the thoughts it has led me to.  If you has asked me two years ago whether I had a diverse group of friends, I would say unequivocally yes.  Okay, racially, not so much, but just in terms of personality, ambitions, etc.  I have friends who work for non-profits, in academia, for entrepreneurial small businesses, in the arts, as doctors and for large corporations as well as women who work as parents.  But actually, we're all pretty much the same - middle class white girls with good liberal arts educations.  We've have very similar politics, similar values and hobbies, and generally buy in to a pretty traditional view of career  and success (regardless of what industry/field we're in). Sure, between us we've wrestled with tough issues like death of loved ones, divorce, trying hard to get pregnant, trying hard not to get pregnant, serious illness and layoffs - but mostly we lead pretty secure lives thanks to strong support from our families, friends and being fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do all the "right" things.

Out here, I've met so many people who walk a very different path, it really awes and humbles me.  The day to day of being a working actor, musician, model, agent or writer is so outside my comfort zone and experience.  I really admire my new friends who have the courage to work in such uncertain fields because they know they are good, because its their dream or because they know they'd die a little inside every day if they did something else.  I am amazed at the folks who work 6 or 7 14-hour days per week, and even more at those who sometimes only get to work 4 hours in a given week and never know when that bad week is coming.  But more than that, I am so impressed that though, yes there is an interconnected web of people and circumstances that make an artist successful or not, at the core its about your own personal talent and drive to work.  There's no big company with assistants and peers and other divisions and policy and procedure that just keeps chugging along even if you're sick for a week or have a bad day.  There's just you, your talent and your willingness to keep going.  Like I said, it's humbling.

Bringing it back to an East Coast vs West Coast level, though, I'm surprised at how easily I've met such a diverse array of people here.  And believe me, I tried in Boston.  I semi-stalked a certain comedian-musician for nearly a year and never managed to break into his circle, nor did he naturally float into mine.  And how would it happen?  All our weird, cold rules about not being creepy and talking to people you don't know, that essentially trying to make friend with someone you aren't introduced to in the right circumstances is putting them in an awkward position, those don't really facilitate the mixing of the masses.  Whereas here, everyone welcomes you with open arms.  You make a new friend at the bar because you happen to be sitting next to each other and that's good enough for them to introduce you to their friends and away we go.  Now, some have argued that "friendship" isn't quite as valuable in LA as in Boston and I'd agree to some extent, but it's not as bad as people like to make it out to be an I'd say the upside is worth it.