So far, no scary skinny, chain-smoking, coke-snorting cat ladies!

So, I have to admit my biggest fear when contemplating the move to LA was that I would enter a land filled with clones of Mischa Barton, Ashlee Simpson and the Olsen twins. And, worse, I'd quickly become one of them, like in The Martian Chronicles. Admittedly, this fear was mostly born out of my own insecurities and the fact that about two LA women I know have mentioned getting plastic surgery as if it were getting a haircut. I know, 2 is not a very large number, but ZERO of the women I know on the East Coast have ever mentioned it, so...

But, no, the folks here are pretty regular. Most of the city are unattractive, overweight slobs like the rest of us.

Like, ohmygod, everything is totally in a mall!

I don't know if The Valley really was the birthplace of the mall, but it is definitely the mall's home turf. Literally everything is in a mall here - or at least a mini-mall/plaza. There are no standalone grocery stores or Targets or drug stores (a few big boxes like Home Depot), they are all in malls or plazas. Nail places, hair salons, even upscale restaurants.